It’s not always about you

Have you ever met this kind of human beings?

Everything that happens around them, they will always find a way to make it about themselves.

And am like, do you know how many billions we are on this poor planet. You are just like a drop in the ocean.

So relax and understand that its not always about you.

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Life rewards the apologetic

Saying "I'm sorry" can breathe new life in your relationships.

It can offer a fresh start and a new state.

Life will help you start again,

repair what has been damaged,

regain what has been lost.

When you are brave enough to admit into your faults and apologize.

She doesn’t know how to

She stares at the window as her thoughts carry her away. She is trying her best to fight her ‘demons”. Which seems to have won the fight. But she is yet to give up. She has hope of victory but doesn’t know how to.

She was raised by an absent dad. Who never bothered about their basic needs. He used drugs and was aggressive. To the siblings, their mum and herself. This was her life for the better part of her childhood. She got exposed to a harsh domestic environment right from the beginning.

Her father used to call her a loser. And claimed that she was stupid and unlucky in life. He said all sort of bad stuff and discouraging comments to her. Things escalated to physical abuse.

Schools became her safe haven. And school holidays became a night mare. When other kids jumped with joy to go back home. Suicidal thoughts found a home in her head.

She was raised in church. So she feared taking away her life. Not to end up in hell. But sometimes, she thought to herself. Maybe hell is much better. She struggled to stay alive.

Surprisingly, she made it to the university and secured  very good grades. Seems God preserved her brains. She too wonders how she managed to stay sharp with all troubles in her life.

The father never changed. He is growing old but his aggressiveness keeps escalating. He even threw her out of the house before she could even get a job. He claimed that she was a parasite that need to die.

She is a survivor. With the small will and hope that helped to push her forward. She was able to find a job and a place to live. Life was tough. Poverty, worthlessness and daily hustle made the suicidal thoughts more strong.

She is the silent type. No friends to mingle with. She kept things to herself. And when the journey got tough, all she could do. Was cry herself to sleep. She was slowing losing it.

She stopped going to church, minimized her calls back home and shut everyone out. She became more like a machine. Going to work, do what is expected of her and go home. She lost test of life.

TV helped make time pass by and made her forget her pathetic life for a minute. She was simply afraid of taking away her life. But she was already dead inside. She was just waiting for something to help end her life.

No one notice what she was going through. As they got used of her silence. They thought she was okay. With the ever smiling face and few words. No one knew what ready happened behind the smile. She was good at hiding it from everyone.

She is now almost 40 years old. Just like everyone else, her biological clock is clicking. She has managed to ignore with success but not anymore. She scared away all the nice guys who approached her. By being too ”busy” or even being extremely rude to them. Most of them gave up.

Then this guy happened. A guy who paid no attention to her refusal or excuses. He has been on her case for sometime now. Patiently taking in all her coldness. He seems not to go away anytime soon.

He also seemed to have managed to touch her soft part. He has been too nice to her. Something that’s is seen as  foreign to her. She is used to people being harsh and mean towards her. She doesn’t trust anyone even her own self.

A very tiny part of heart, thinks its time she allowed someone in. But a big part of her is raising alarms about it. What if he turns out like father? Then again, not everyone is bad. But still, being alone. No one will manage to hurt you more. She is torn in between.

She feels safe alone and fears another pain from unsuccessful relationship. But she also feel lonely and desire a family of her own. As little as she wants to open up to him, she doesn’t know how to.

Her thoughts go blank leaving flashbacks of all the earlier mistreat dancing in her head. She is unable to shake it off. So as usual, she takes her sleeping pills and head to bed.

 

What’s Your Emergency?

What's your emergency?
Is it an ex, retrenchment, unplanned pregnancy, broken relationship,
Joblessness, poverty, self-esteem, love, thoughts, depression, etc,
You know it deep down your soul.

What are you doing about your emergency?
Have you chose to ignore it,
Or look / ask for help,
Because every emergency needs some help from outside.

It doesn't matter if you are the tough one,
The one who offers solutions to other people's emergency,
One who always have everything figured out,
We all need someone once in a while.

It may be difficult to reach out,
Maybe you are used to doing it all by yourself,
You do and try your best to solve your problems,
Its okay to be fragile when need be.

Take care of your precious self,
Reach out for help from outside,
Two heads are better than one,
You don't have to suffer alone.

You may succeed to drown your needs,
But this will only make things worst,
Pressure will continue building up,
Then one day, you will have to burst.

Whatever will come out of that outburst,
May end up uncontrollable and too hard to contain,
Don't allow things to get there,
Allow yourself to be human.

No human is a superman/woman,
We need others to be great,
We are social beings,
And whatever is happening to you,
Happens to other humans too. 

If putting it down,
Or sharing it on a conversation,
Or crying it out,
Whatever works for you, go with that.

Take  care of your emergency,
Respond to it ASAP,
Its easier that way,
And always remember, 
You are special and limited edition.



Self-Worth vs Net-Worth

Are you lonely?
Are you lonely?

Be yourself, everyone else is taken
Be yourself, everyone else is taken

Invest in your own self
Invest in your own self

It's up to you to decide whether or not to be miserable
It’s up to you to decide whether or not to be miserable

Let them go if they are not adding any value to you
Let them go if they are not adding any value to you

Self-Worth takes care of Net-Worth
Self-Worth takes care of Net-Worth

What's your opinion on yourself
What’s your opinion on yourself

SELF-LOVE

What is self-love?
What you understand regarding self-love?
Does it mean anything to you?

Do you give yourself some self-love?
Do you believe it has any benefits to you?
What are these benefits?

Can people really benefit from you having some self-love?
How do others benefit from you loving yourself?
Does it really matter to others if you had some self-love or not?

Do you do to others what you would like them do undo others?
Does the two-way traffic policy applies to you?
How do you treat others?

Do you take care of yourself?
How often do you have your own meeting?
What ways have you developed to grow yourself?

Do you build or destroy yourself?
What are the consequences effects on yourself from your actions?
Do you pat yourself on the back or curse/blame yourself?

Do you count yourself as one of your own friends?
Have you developed any friendship with yourself?
What kind of friend are you to yourself?

Do you put yourself first?
At what urgency do you treat your needs and desires?
How does your preferences affect you?

Do you have any self-loving deeds you do to yourself?
How often do you do them?
Can you name them?

Do you believe in self-forgiveness?
In cases of limitations, flaws and failures, do you forgive yourself?
Blame or forgive, which one do you do a lot to yourself?

NB: “We rarely see ourselves as perfect just the way we are. We often base our worth on who loves or doesn’t love us” – Heatherash Amara.