Why am I angry?

I still don’t really know why am this angry at her.

It was an eventful day and was happy about it. Unfortunately , on my way home this happened.

I came across a couple fighting. Waiting they were not fighting since the lady was the one receiving the beating. The guy was fighting her ruthlessly, even throwing stuff like broken bottles at her. She was trying her best to apologize but this guy seem not to get any of that.

People had just surrounded them , as if watching tv show. No one tried or showed sign of helping these people out. Claiming that fights between couple should be left to the couples to solve. But hey, this lady’s life was on line here. This guy could end up ending her life while they watched.

I tried to ask one of the guys in the audience to try to hold down the fighting dude since he was the big one. He just snobbed me and told me to enjoy the show just like everyone else. This was bullshit so i went for the extreme measure. I decided to give a call to one of my friends who happens to be in the police department.

At least he seem to care and able to do something. He was very effective because they responded in the shortest time possible. The lady was already bleeding from all the cuts she got from the broken glasses.

Then boom, she almost gave me a heart attack. She requested the police to release his husband, As it was a simple misunderstanding. That things will be okay. What was wrong with her?

The police had no choice but release the guy. And they left.

Guess what!

Just as the police car left and I decided to go home and mind my own business. I had the screamings again. The fight resumed.

Am still very angry when I remember or think about this incidence.

LETS ALL SAY A BIG NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. No person is allowed to cause any kind of abuse to their partners.

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Now I get it

I still remember that day when we officially called it quit. And decided to go separate ways. It was very painful on my end and left me devastated.

I spent months asking myself hard questions that I never had answers for. I kept blaming myself for the failure of our relationship. Maybe I was too busy for you, or I did something wrong unknowingly, or I pushed you away with my actions, and the blames were endless.

I spent nights crying and days pretending that everything was okay. That I was strong than you thought. But when I got home and alone. He’ll would break loose. I never allowed anyone see me cry. I had to be strong. That’s what I kept telling myself.

Everything that has a beginning, surely has an end. I got over myself and self-pity/blame. And decided to give my life a meaning. I had a meeting with myself and set records right. Cleaned all the unnecessary stuff and put things into perspective.

I was able to see clearly on the bigger picture. My life was back and more interesting. I even came to realize that I was missing a lot. Life was sweeter once again.

In my where about, got several hits here and there. But I had promised myself not to board that bus yet. I was enjoying single-hood’s bus. And not ready to alight yet. So I ignored all them.

One of them refused to give up. He kept up the spirit for a few months. He endured the harsh treatments. He was determined. He finally got the idea of some of the things that makes me go bananas. And he offered one of them. I had to play hard to get irregardless.

Did so for a few more months. Then I decided to give it a trial. As a friend and nothing more. This was made clear to him from the beginning. And of course he agreed. There was no way he could allow such to kill any hopes he had.

With caution , I scrutinized each part and section of him. I placed him under microscope and still learning more about him. Things have been super awesome.

Where has he been all this time? If we had no call it quits, then I would have missed it? All the lessons and experiences would be missing.

Now I get it.

LOVE

What do you understand about "Love"?
What does it mean "To be in Love"?
Is it an idea, noun or verb?

Is your love attached to anything?
Are they are standards to be meant for one to earn your love?
Is it conditional or unconditional?

Do you love to be loved back?
Or do you guft others with your love?
Would you still love someone if they failed to loved you back?

Do you quantify your love?
How much love are you offering?
Do you love wholeheartedly?

Does the people's action affect the love you have for them?
Will you still love them despite their bad deeds?
Do you fully love people for who they are?

Why do or would you love someone?
Do you use love for people as an escape plan from your own self?
Does your love for others affect anything in your life?

Do you love what you do on a daily basis?
Are you in love with own life?
How do you develop love in everything involving you?

What does your love believe in?
Truths or realities?
Fantasties or illusions?

What motivates you?
Love 0r Fear?
What drives you mainly?

Are you offering love in the right way?
How healthy is your love?
Are you loving right?

"WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE," STEPHEN CHBOSKY

SELF-LOVE

What is self-love?
What you understand regarding self-love?
Does it mean anything to you?

Do you give yourself some self-love?
Do you believe it has any benefits to you?
What are these benefits?

Can people really benefit from you having some self-love?
How do others benefit from you loving yourself?
Does it really matter to others if you had some self-love or not?

Do you do to others what you would like them do undo others?
Does the two-way traffic policy applies to you?
How do you treat others?

Do you take care of yourself?
How often do you have your own meeting?
What ways have you developed to grow yourself?

Do you build or destroy yourself?
What are the consequences effects on yourself from your actions?
Do you pat yourself on the back or curse/blame yourself?

Do you count yourself as one of your own friends?
Have you developed any friendship with yourself?
What kind of friend are you to yourself?

Do you put yourself first?
At what urgency do you treat your needs and desires?
How does your preferences affect you?

Do you have any self-loving deeds you do to yourself?
How often do you do them?
Can you name them?

Do you believe in self-forgiveness?
In cases of limitations, flaws and failures, do you forgive yourself?
Blame or forgive, which one do you do a lot to yourself?

NB: “We rarely see ourselves as perfect just the way we are. We often base our worth on who loves or doesn’t love us” – Heatherash Amara.