All of us have names that were given by someone when we got born. Some chose to stick with those names while others decided to change them.
In African we have several means used to name the little angels. They include:
Events surrounding the birth, which can either be positive or negative circumstances or emotions.
Order of birth
Time of the day or season.
Named after relatives or very close friends.
Just to name a few.
In the other part of the world, humans have found a way around it too. Some name babies based on the names made by utensils, place of birth, grandparents, places, among others. The internet have also proved name generating app that assist parents get beautiful names for their babies.
The naming of babies is considered a very important decision as it reflects parent’s personality and not the baby. It’s one of the first major decisions made for us by our parents.
So the other day I accidentally overheard a conversation about naming of kids of deadbeat fathers from a local radio station. They were arguing on whether or not to include a deadbeat father’s name to the child names. One party argued that since the father is not taking any responsibilities, he should not be given an opportunity to be included in their babies’ names.
While the other one claimed that they should be included. He argued that regardless of not being responsible, he contributed to the conceiving of that kid and that gives him a right to have his names somewhere.
At first instant , I was angered by the second party sentiments. Why should the deadbeat father have the privilege to be included in the kid’s names ? They have already spelled it out their non- involvement interest with the kid. Its straight forward, they didn’t want anything to do with the kid so why force it on them. It may just be a name but carries a lot of weight. This will be like forcing them what they have already declined.
But then I thought about it. Yes I support not giving the deadbeat father’s name to the babies. But what I don’t support, is entirely cutting off the father from the kid. Most of the unplanned pregnancies are not well welcomed and guys have an easy way out.
It may take them some time but it eventually get into them. The deadbeat fathers will eventually wanna meet their babies regardless of their previous unpleasant behaviors. They may do it when its too late or early enough but still, its valid.
Whether you end up getting another guy who will take care of the unplanned baby like their own, you shouldn’t deny the biological father a chance with their kid.
The kids also have a right to know the truth regardless of the situation. And this has to come from the mother. They have to be allowed opportunity to know what really happened.
I am not sure which means you apply or plan to apply while naming your kids, but what I would advise. Give it your best , in that your kid will be glad to stick with it during their lifetime. They will be glad to let everyone know about it proudly.
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