Its was my hope that you I could have told you this while you were still alive but that opportunity eluded me. 😢😢
I would like to first apologize for being an absent friend and going MIA more often. It was not intentional but circumstantial. I would have loved to see you more often, speak with you frequently, hang out with all the time, continue doing the crazy stuff we used to do, all the stuff we did together.
Life became busy and tasks increased, time became limited, distance increased, priorities increased and generally things got really mixed up. I still don’t understand how we got there.
We used to check up on each other several times in a day, but during your last days we only spoke a few times in a month. Traveling and exploring new places was our thing on weekends, its was long gone. We used to finish each others sentences, that too faded away, I even forgot your favourite color. We could talk for hours without stopping, but we were struggling to keep a conversation last for even an hour. We were still the best buddies but life had been sucked out of our friendship as each day passed.
I was sad 🙁 and very late to learn that you were admitted at hospital where you had spent a month there before joining the angels in heaven. I was not able to be there for you and even worst, I wasn’t aware of your situation. I felt pathetic as your wife narrated to me how the sickness had taken toil on your health. I don’t think I justify to still have the buddy title anymore, I let you down when you needed me the most.
That not being the only thing I missed out, I couldn’t be there for your little prince despite promising to be the godmother to your kids while we were still close. I will never be able to recover all these losses for no good reason.
I don’t know if forgiveness is what I need or we are beyond repair but its my wish that somehow you can forgive me. I have sunk into my regrets and sorrows but nothing seems to work. Its like part of me is gone forever. Am no longer complete.
She read her letter to her best friends as mourners listened to her silently. Tears rolled down her eyes and you could see the pain she was going through. Peep talks didn’t seem to be the right thing to give her at the moment but rather allowed her to cry it out. She felt as if she was a stranger to her best dead friend and saw no chance of making things right.
It made me think on how frequent I reach out to my buddies. Yes we may stay for a long time without meeting up or chatting yet still catch up cheerful when we get an opportunity but is that okay? What if something similar to my friend’s situation happens in between the no contact with your buddy.
I hope that we remember to keep the fire burning regardless of the new tasks in life.